So What?

To care, or not to care...

Well it's 2008, everyone is about changes. We all see if we can stick to diets, learn to love more, stack more bread yada yada. One of mines was to not be so choosy. I'm working on it. I am also realizing what I want and what I don't want and how it will affect me as far as the future. I sat here and thought to myself yea the dude I been rapping to is cool, whatever happens happens of course BUT.... I know he isn't the one. I'm sorry I can't get around this nigga wanting to wear skinny jeans. I don't care if it's a trend the shit is disturbing to me. Last night I was with Mia (my bff) and her folks and she was like yea it's cool for dudes now. Damn that!! I can't do it. I'm not even making excuses to run away from anything. He's a bun, he's smart, but it will always be something in the back of my head that says, there's something gay about this dude. I would hate to wife him up (lol) and then catch him in the bed with "Bill".

I know you guys are like "Here we go again.." its cool, I'm saying it to myself also, but it's more like "WHY WHY WHY!!!"

Why the fuck me... I will not blame this on bad juju, I will blame it on me wanting too quick and me making exceptions for shit I know I can't deal with. I need me a nigga dammit. Who jeans sag a tad, who t-shirt don't look like a onesie, and don't get those retarded shapes in shit cut in this hair. It is cute to see, but it's not comfortable to deal with a nigga like that when you are use to dealing with nigga's that hustle, who rock dreads, and got this lil grimey yet sexy look to them. I know I need to expand my horizon but that flamboyant shit is beyond my horizon. I started to see him as that friend you wanted to go shopping with. It just happened....

I started the year off wrong, eating pizza, not working out and getting my hopes up in something I knew wasn't for me. I didn't ditch the dude though, maybe I can, nah you can't change a nigga. He's cool folks, he reminds me of what I was missing when I was like 21-22 all the fun, the late night convos, and the little crush. But I'm 25 now, I know there's not super huge gap but as far as mindframe it is. This nigga aint ready to settle down and I am.

Fuck it I got issues. LMAO I'm human, and of all things I'm a female.

Anyway I took the time out to make a small list of what I want and dont want, and I will stick to this for 08 and beyond.

• I decided to date males my age and older; why? Simply because younger males will always have a moment where their age will show. Also the situation with my neighbor around the corner staying in the basement with the bunkbeds have pretty much scarred me. I know there are males who are on their shit and under 25, but you know what? I'm not up for taking that chance.

• He gotta be on some intellectual shit, lawd I can't fuck with no dummies. He gotta be able to hold a convo, not just about money, sex, and cars. He gotta have something going on up there in the mind.

• Can't be too hood to where you can't take this nigga nowhere. You don't want him to meet your friends, sure hell don't want him meeting moms. So what would be the point.... What I mean in too hood? This nigga gotta curse in every sentence, he's rude, he carry a gun in his car, he drives a bubble, he hustles, and lives in a neighborhood you refuse to go to... oh and any tattoos on the face lmaoooo..

• Have to have a sense of humor, I like to play and crack jokes. If he's not for all that , that's a instant no right there.

• Got to be able to lay the pipe and eat it right (even though Ms Twila dont care too much for it, she do like a good licking every once in a while), I had to add this one. Cause I never cheated b4 and I don't want a reason to either.
  

• He has to be kid friendly, but not have 4 baby moms. I got to be able to bring him around Hailey and he has to be on bun mode for that one.

• Goal oriented, I'm not trying to live in the hood for the rest of my life, hell not even at 30. So we both got to be making moves together.
  

• I also learned that you should not judge how a man treat females by how he treats his moms, cause that's his moms that's a totally different relationship on a whole different level. How do this nigga treat his kids? Is he around, is he taking care of what's his? What was the reason he broke up with his girl? I'm not trying to rap to a deadbeat. My dad is one and so is my daughters father and I do not like to go backwards.

• Local...he can not live in westbubbafuck... Especially if he don't drive. These area include the Montgomery County area of ( Gaithersburg, Germantown, White Oak, and anywhere further than those points) St. Charles County ( LaPlata, Nanjemoy, and any place that have tornado warnings) Virginia ( Woodbridge, Sterling, Reston, and anything beyond Fairfax County) Shits too far for me.

• Not an excessive drinker, I don't like drunk males. I mean who like drunk ppl anyway? I don't want to deal with someone who liver is all tore up. Same thing with smokers, green I can deal with as long as it not a necessity. Cigarettes I can't do. But if you can hang around me and not light one up then we good.

• Be someone I can bring around my friends, I meet too many niggas that are like I don't want to meet your friends. I don't like that.
  

• And last but not least..Have all your teeth!! A gap here a chipped tooth there is cool, but crowding, stains, and multiple missing teeth is a no go.
  

LMAO hell of a list huh?

Most of the things I ask for are simple, I dont care about cars and clothes (unless your clothes are more fitted than mines) just be someone I can count on. I have yet found that person, I don't care if you guys are like you don't give a nigga a chance.. Yes I do trust me on that. I will meet a nigga and analyze shit and just be like nope...

So now you guys see what I want....

I haven't brought the New Year in with some mind blowing sex, so since I'm sober lmao lets see how long I can go. See if someone is out here looking to venture in my mind and not my panties. Only problem is, is can I do the same.. Me more into a nigga mindset than his boxers lmaoo..